I went to NYC with my friend for the weekend. I don't get a chance to see this friend very often becuase she moved down to Florida after law school, so I was really excited that I was going to get to see her. We had a great first night & went out to a few bars around our hotel. 

The second night was FAR from a great night. I know that I am an easily irritabable person sometimes, but I am not one to hold a grudge or stay upset for more than even an hour. I don't like being angry. I either like to sort things out right away & quickly put them behind me or I choose to just let them go & get over them. I am currently on the bus coming home from NYC and am still beyond angry and kind of hurt. I actually cannot remember the last time that I've been this angry with someone.

On the second night we were in NYC, my friend & I were supposed to go to a wedding. I was actually going as my friends guest because her boyfriend couldn't come. First off I forgot the bra that I normally wear with the dress that I brought to wear for the wedding & the dress can't be worn with a normal bra because it has a low back. When I got dressed in the hotel room I tried on the dress without a bra & decided that it was ok that way. After we are dressed, my friend & I go to get a cab to take us to the wedding & we cannot find a cab driver who knows where the wedding is. None of them have ever heard of the place. I ran back into the hotel & googled directions to give to the cab driver. At this point it is already looking like we will possibly be late. The cab driver is driving for a while when we discover that we are basically lost. At this point my friend is freaking out becuase she doesn't want to be late. Also around this point is when I discovered that in daylight you could totally see through my dress. When we finally find the place where the wedding is at we see that the ceremony has already started. We try to quietly go in through the back door so no one will notice us. Of course, everyone notices us and turns around to look, point & whisper at us. Also at this point I am holding my arms across my chest so no one can see through my dress. Just as my friend & I sit down the bride & groom walk down the aisle. We had literally missed the whole ceremony! I was so glad that I didn't know any of these people because I was beyond mortified. After the ceremony, I was also able to run over to rite aide & bought some supplies to fix my dress problem.

The night only proceeded to go downhill at this point. My friend met a guy & spent a good amount of time dancing & talking with him. I actually was really bored. It was hard being somewhere where everyone knows each other & everyone is with a significant other. (The wedding made me miss my boyfriend tons even though I saw him on Friday right before I left.) I sat outside by myself talking on my cell phone & was growing kind of irritated that my friend was still talking with this guy & hadn't come looking for me in over an hour. I tried to convince myself that I shouldn't be irritated. I tried to convince myself that I only see my friend once or twice a year & something like this siutation wasn't worth getting upset over. I sucked it up & walked over to my friend and the guy and tried to join in the conversation. My friend basically ignored what I said & went on talking with the guy like I wasn't even there. I felt awkward & stupid, so I walked away & sat by myself for another minuete.

At this point, I officially let my anger get the best of me. I had flown all the way to NYC to spend time with my friend. I had spent a ton of money that I really cannot afford to spend to see my friend. I was there for her. I didn't know anyone else at this event. I walked up to her & after once again being ignored told her that I was upset that she hadn't been spending time with me and reminded her that I did not know anyone at this event except her. To my shock, she was angry with me for feeling this way. She told me that I was just being "jealous because I hadn't found someone to hang out with for the night"

I exploded at that point & I did say some harsh things. I told her that I had a bf and didn't want to find some random stranger to hang out with at the event & that I wanted to hang out with her. We had had a conversation earlier in the evening about how she wanted her boyfriend to propose to her since they have been together 7 years. I knew it was a touchy subject & anything that I said regarding it would be hurtful but the words decided to come out of my mouth anyways. I reminded her that she has a boyfriend. I told her she was boy crazy & told her that her bf would never propose to her while she is out grinding up on other guys. I went too far. I shouldn't have said that. She started crying & I felt bad and didn't want her crying at her friend's wedding so I apologized for everything. I did owe her an apology for some of the stuff that I had said. I didn't even really get any apology from her which I felt that I deserved, but I decided at that point I was going to just let it go because I wanted to try to salvage the time we had left together that night. We left the reception being okay with each other.

There was an after party for the wedding at a bar. My friend & I go there, and she pulls the same crap there! She runs off & just leaves me alone. Was she not listening to me the first time I explained to her that I was upset about this? I just didn't get it. My purpose in coming to NYC was to see her & she seemed more interested in hanging out with a stranger she met at the bar than me. I was livid but didn't even bother saying anything this time. I tried to just make it through the night. In the cab on the way back to the hotel, she asked me if I was angry with her. I told her no. I don't know why I lied at that point. I think I just wanted to avoid another blow up. She could tell that I was lying anyways. 

My friend had an 8AM flight home, so I was still asleep when she left in the morning. She did say bye to me before leaving though. I feel so many different emotions right now. I'm angry that I spent a ton of money to come and see her & she spent half of our time there more interested in hanging out with random people she'll never see again. I'm angry and frustrated that she doesn't understand why I was upset. I'm angry that at the after party she did the exact same thing that she did at the reception after we had talked about it. I'm sad that I am so angry. I'm sad that we basically left each other angry. I'm also confused. Is she really that good of a friend? I would never abandon a friend who came to visit me for the weekend. I would try to make sure they were included and that I didn't exclude them. I also know that if I want our friendship to continue that I am going to have to be the one to step up & talk about what happened. I also feel like I will never get an apology from her.

I think I just need to give this whole situation a little time and see if I am still as angry and sad about this situation in a few days. I am honestly shocked that I still feel so angry. I never stay angry overnight. 

Sigh....this was supposed to be a good weekend.

I've been feeling a whole lot more positive lately. I suprisingly felt really low after the bar exam. I think that was mostly because I was stresed about moving, money, finding a job, and really didn't have a whole lot to do. 

Well I finally have all my stuff moved & am living with Dillon. 

My parents have been unbelievably supportive of me in the past year. They are basically paying for my rent & living expenses until I find a job. I've always known that my parents are fairly well off financially, but I really don't know exactally how well off they are. I feel terrible when I have to ask them for money, but I don't really have a choice at the moment. There is no way I can afford to live in Boston without a decent paying full time job. I am extremely lucky that they are able and happily willing to help me.

I have another job interview. It's not for an attorney position but the position is a legal position. The position is also with a global law firm & I would be beyond thrilled to get any type of position with them.

I also have a bunch of things to look forward to in the coming weeks. 
-My friend, Dorothy, and I are going to NYC together this weekend
-Dillon & I are going to Maine in 2 weeks for a wedding
-September 14 is the Monday night Pats v. Bills game (hopefully my Bills do not get crushed too badly)

Finally, I am addicted to Sporcle. It's like Christmas when I wake up in the morning to find new Sporcle categories.

Geez...maybe I should just not go on facebook anymore. It's been nothing but a source of irritation for me lately!

My boyfriend and I went to play trivia tonight, and we missed True Blood which I've gotten really into lately. I sign onto facebook, and someone posted a HUGE spoiler right in their status which was the first thing I saw when I signed on. How irritating! They completely ruined the episode for me. I'm not the only person they ruined it for either. Another friend of mine who is also friends with this TV spoiler has a message up saying she feels exactally the same as me. 

All I'm saying is even though something just aired please keep in mind that not everyone is able to immediately watch it, and they watch it a few hours later. Is it really necessary to spoiler the episode for them immediately? Sigh...

I often feel like many guys do not respect my opinion when it comes to sports. I feel like many men believe that a woman could possibly not know as much about football (or any sport for that matter) as a man does. I find myself especially annoyed with this attitude and wonder how in the year 2009 men could possibly have this view!

Unfortunately, I have been reminded why men do have such a view....

I signed on facebook yesterday and these are some of the statuses that I viewed regarding the Bills preseason game against the Bears: "I love Trent Edwards", "T.O. has turned me into a Bills fan", and "We are going to the Superbowl". 

I'll start sharing my feelings with the less irritating quotes first. Women who only watch a sporting event because they "love" a player or think he is hot give women a bad rep. They are the reason that men have trouble taking a woman's opinion on sports seriously. 

Finally, I am a huge Bills fan and consider myself an optimist but there is no way that a fan can conclude that a team that went 7-9 last year is going to the Superbowl based on a preseason game! A lot of our starters played less then a quarter of the game! How can you possibly conclude that we are going to the Superbowl based on how our back-up players performed?!

Unfortunately my job interview was a disaster. I honestly believe the majority of it wasn't my fault though. I've never prepared more for a job interview in my life. This is an extremely complicated story, but I am going to try describe what happened without revealing who the job interview was with.  Anyways, this employer has multiple agencies & in March I applied to the criminal division of the agency, and I never heard anything from them. On my application to the criminal division of the agency I also explained that I have a unique issue with my 3:03 Certification (which is the certification that lets you represent clients before passing the bar). I received my 3:03 Certification when I was not a senior in law school. I received the certification when I was a 2L. Therefore, my certification only allows me to represent indigent clients in civil matters. I did call the SJC though, and they informed me that if I was hired by someone who required me to have a 3:03 senior certification to represent indigident clients in criminal matters that I would be able to still obtain that certification at any point until I took the bar. Since I took the bar at the end of July, I am not able to obtain that certification at this point.
In July, I also applied to the Children & Family division of this agency. In August, I received a call from this agency offering me an interview. When the agency called me, all they said was their name. I automatically assumed that it was with the children & family law division. I assumed that because I just applied with them, and I knew that I would no longer be able to obtain the required certification for the criminal divison and had explained my 3:03 certification issue on my application.
Bottom line is never assume anything. After spending time on the employer's website learning about juvenile court proceedings & spending time in the library reading MCLE books on juvenile law, I thought that I was beyond prepared for this interview. The interviewer began by asking me numerous questions. I tried to relate all of my answers to family law issues that I had experience with or different juvenile law proceedings that I had studied. The interviewer kept trying to steer my answers away from family law, and I sensed after a few minutes that something was not right. I stopped & asked him what division that he was interviewing me for, and I explained that I had applied to both. The interviewer was beyond nice to me & apologized for all of the confusion. We even shared a good laugh about it. The interviewer continued with the interview which contained some pretty challenging questions, but I actually thought that I held my own. I was really lucky that I had just taken the bar becuase criminal law and criminal procedure were still very fresh in my head. I think I did an okay job on the interview considering the circumstances. 
When the interviewer asked if I had any questions at the end of the interview, I asked him about the 3:03 issue. It turns out that that is probably a dealer breaker for me. The interviewer was not even aware that there are senior and non-senior 3:03 certifications. The interviewer didn't say it would be impossible for me to be hired by the criminal division without the certification but made it sound very unlikely. The situation just seemed especially frustrating because I was very honest about my 3:03 issue and specifically wrote on the application that I sent in March that I did not have the required certification but was eligible to receive it if I was hired before the bar exam. What a mess!

Anyways, yesterday I was just miserable all day! No matter what anyone said or did for me I was just stuck in this funk! I am not kidding when I tell you that the person who broke me out of my "life is terrible mood" was MICHAEL VICK! 

I began hearing rumors last night that Michael Vick was in Buffalo to meet with the Buffalo Bills. I'm not 100% sure that I am on the bring Michael Vick to Buffalo bandwagon yet, but I just get excited by the fact that the Bills are trying to make some kind of move. I seriously cannot deal with having another 7-9 season. I've started to believe that Ralph Wilson & the front office don't care about anything except money. Now while that may still be true I think as of lately they've started to show that they would like a few more wins as well. I am beyond excited to have T.O. in Buffalo. It should be interesting to see where Michael Vick ends up.

Finally, there is a bar fairly close to me that plays a family feud type game on Thursday nights. I am dying to go and hope that I can drag my boyfriend there tonight. I know that money is really tight right now, but I really don't think it will cost much for us to play. We can eat dinner at home & literally buy one draft beer each there. Hopefully I can convince my bf to go :-) 

Since taking the bar, I've been spending a good deal of time looking for a job. I actually started looking for a post-graduate job around January, but I didn't really do much while I was studying for the bar. I'm spending a good deal of time looking for a job becuase I have things to pay for such as rent, food, and soon enough my loans. 

It amazes me though how some people do not seem to have any financial obligations in their life! I understand during law school that students may have loan money that they use for their financial obligations. However after the bar, I still feel like quite a few people who I know for a fact do not have jobs act like they do not have a financial obligation in the world! I have friends who seem to be out at the bar & partying it up every night. I have friends who have been able to travel to Europe, Hawaii, & Flordia. I have a friend who wrote about going to the spa today on facebook. How are these people affording all these things?! I know that I cannot be the only law school graduate struggling financially, but it seems like a lot of the graduates that I know are not struggling even if they do not have a job. I guess that I am just jealous. 

At least I have the opportunity, to go home & see my family and college friends next week. That will be nice. One of the other problems with not having a job right has been that I really don't know what to do with my free time during the day. I have no money, all of my friends work during the day, and I am so sick of watching tv. The days just seem so long and neverending when you don't have anything to do, and I have watched every law & order and csi episode ever created! Life after the bar has not been great. I almost miss the bar in a sense that it gave me a reason to get dressed, put on make-up & go outside everyday. Despite my lack of activity I've actually lost more weight lately. It is probably because I don't have money to buy any junk food. I literally own one pair of jeans that fit me right now though which is not good considering I don't have the money to spend on jeans at the moment. 

Wow this might be the most depressing entry ever!

I'm just excited to go home! One of my friends is also unemployed so I hope to spend a lot of time with her. It'll be really nice to have someone around instead of watching tv. I can't wait for Monday :-)

 I am supposed to be going to a bachelorette party tonight. The party is for a girl that I am friends with, but I would not consider her one of my really close friends. I am actually better friends with the girl that is organizing the event. Despite the fact that we are friends, this girl organizing the event is driving me insane though! She is probably the worst planner that I have ever met! My irritation has slowly been growing this week, and I am currently ready to explode.

The following have happened throughout the week:

1. My friend sent out a facebook invitation just last week for the bachelorette party. She only invited 10 people, and only 5 have rsvpd saying that they are coming. The invite set out a schedule for the night which included: pregaming at our friend's place, getting dinner, going to a club, and then a strip club.

2. The first problem occurred when the person whose house she had planned for us to pregame at found that she had offered his place for us to pregame at. He wasn't even planning on being home that night!!

3. Problem two occurred later in the week when we began to discuss how we would actually get to the strip club that the bride wants to go to (which is located in Saugus!). None of the girls invited drive! My friend began to discuss renting a car & was trying to get someone to drive it. Now this wouldn't be such a big deal except for the fact that none of the girls have driven in years! It really is not fair or safe in my opinion to ask someone who hasn't driven in years to drive around a bachelorette party!
Finally, my friend organizing the event convinced her boyfriend to drive us all around for the night.

4. Then last night my friend sends out an email telling us how she bought all this crap for the party & needs us all to pay $10 each for it. This crap includes things such as penis straws & necklaces. It would have been nice if she asked if I was willing to pay $10 for this stuff before she went ahead & bought it. I feel like I am already going to end up spending way too much money for a bachelorette party for someone I'm not that close with, and I don't even want to wear a penis necklace or have a penis straw! I think that kind of stuff is actually embarrassing.

The email she sent out last night also said we were all meeting up at 7PM and not to be late. However, it did not say where we are meeting up at 7! It would be nice to know where I am supposed to be.

5. It is now almost 4PM on the day of the party, and I still have no idea what is going on! I just want to know where to be at 7PM, and my friend is not answering her phone now!! 

I seriously want to scream! I almost feel like not going at all. This party has been nothing but a headache for me all week long. The only reason I feel even obligated to go at this point is the bride has only 5 girls including me going to her bachelorette party. I am just very frustrated! I feel like this event could have been planned so much better.

I finally got called for another job interview! I was beginning to get frustrated. This will be the second interview I've gone on for an attorney position. The first interview did not go as well as I would have liked. I was asked specific questions about the organization's policies and specific questions of law that related to the position, and I was just not well enough prepared to answer some of them. I'm not completely shocked that I did not get that job. This time I am going to make sure that I am 100% prepared. This job requires a knowledge of juvenile law. While I do enjoy juvenile law & have some family law experience, I do not feel that I am as knowledgeable as I could be in the subject area. That is why I am going to go to the library tomorrow and learn as much about the subject matter as I can in a day. I just want to make sure that I give this interview my all!

On a side note: The bar exam is such a weird process. You work harder than you've ever worked in your life for this test, and then it is just over. You don't get the results until November, and in some cases (like mine) you don't have a job yet. So what exactly are you supposed to do once the bar exam is over? I feel like taking the bar exam was so anticlimactic!

I am currently at a crossroad. I just finished school and the bar, but I don't have a job yet. I have always thought about keeping a journal, but I never got around to it. Since my boyfriend is on livejournal & I have some free time on my hands, I figured I might as well start a journal now.